Have you done your homework Before making contact?

While you are waiting to find, are you doing your "homework" to be ready to make the contact? I hope so!

Searching seems like the largest hurtle that you have to jump when you are searching for a family member. But really, that is the easiest part of the whole reunion picture. I know you may not believe me now, but I know you will later.

When you are searching, you are faced with little information, vague facts, untrue facts, fears, confusion, lack of support, mixed support by family and friends, brick walls and much more.

But when you actually have the information that will allow you to make contact, are you prepared to move forward? That is the main question.

Searching seems like the largest obstacle that you have to remove. Working with little information seems like a task that will never come to fruition. And, yes, all of this is true.

But have you considered what you will actually do when you know the location of the person you are wish to find? Have you thought about how you will make contact? Have you thought about this person and how they will react when they hear from you by phone or letter?

These are things you need to be thinking about during your search process. Today we have many different tools available to us over the computer that may make your search a short process. Just a few years ago these options were not available. Search would take 3 months to years in most cases. This time was lengthy enough for processing and growth to happen. But, today it is different. Once a name has been found, it may be only moments before you find this person you are have hoped to find. Are you ready?

There are search and support groups all over the country that are here on a face-to-face basis to help you get thru the search and contact processes. There is, also, great support on on-line services. Are you taking full advantage of what is there for you-just for the asking?

Reaching out and making contact is the most important part of your search. You are making the "first impression" after many years. Do you know how to do this? (C. Curry Wolfe's "Making Contact" paper is available on her Web Site: www.crashers.com/search) Do you understand that the person you have found has not had the time to think things over. Do you know that sometimes contact is a shot out of the dark that can set a person back?

These are most important things to consider before you rush into contact. You need to be ready. You need to understand what the other person may be feeling at contact and the days, months and years after.

You need to be ready for so many different things. The searching person is the one creating this new situation in the lives of many. Are you ready to take on that responsibility? You must be ready!

Posted on Prodigy Adoption BB 1996 by C. Curry Wolfe